THE EVER HILARIOUS INTERNET

so sometimes when i want to write you all a little blogBLAB, i zip up to the ever helpful GOOGLE bar, enter in the first thing that pops into my mind, and see what images come up.  then, i get inspired from there, and use that as a jumping off point to share my ever ridiculous thoughts.  this picture, i like.  it doesn't have anything to do with anything really, but ....it's neat, no?  apparently it was made out of construction paper. creative.

but this is what happened today when i popped up to that google bar.

i typed into the normal search field, "images of...."  and right when i was about to think of something, the autofill came up, and what it completed for me, i found utterly hilarious....and enlightening.

i don't know how the internet works really, and if YOU typed in "images of..." on YOUR computer i don't know what would autocomplete....but mine said: (in this order)

images of jesus
images of america
images of bed bugs
images of fall
images of money
images of christmas
images of dogs
images of the sun
images of hearts
images of 9 11

now....

WHAT?!  like i said, i don't really know how it works, but i would assume, as we type things in, it tries to figure out what we might want to see, based on what everyone online has been typing in.  i assume this, because sometimes, when i am trying to find things about myself for example, i am slightly annoyed or perplexed as to what follows my name.  but THIS LIST!?

are we really looking for visual proof or confirmation of THESE THINGS??? in THIS order?!

is this what people on the internet are 'trending' on?  (i don't think i used that twitter term correctly)  who ARE we?  what is this telling me?  and...

BED BUGS!?!?!?  has it gotten to be that big of a problem/issue/neurosis/fear?  i know they are real.  i know friends of mine who have suffered through them.  bed bugs have become a topic of conversation over drinks more than once....but....#3?  right behind jesus and the USA?  for cryin out loud, where's justin beiber on this list?  i mean sheesh.  i just discovered last night that he has the most viewed youtube video on the internet (i obviously have more time to putter around/kill precious brain cells online as i am actually letting myself relax on break...it's amazing....no, i didn't need to know this about j beibs, and no, i couldn't make it past about 50 seconds of the 'baby' video....but....good for him)

i don't know.  i just find it amusing/amazing that THESE are the things we are looking for on the internet.  naturally, jesus would be up there....but....he got to number ONE!  wow, way to go dude.... you beat beiber.  and then not surprisingly/a bit nauseatingly narcissisticly patriotic, there america is....right behind the supposed son of god.  but then...

BED BUGS?!?!?

i'm sorry, i just can't get over that.  it is hilarious.  i mean come on, hearts and puppies got pulverized, money was shut out, and one of the worst days of the world was trumped by....insects.  fear.  boo.

here's hoping we start looking for other things in 2011.  here's dreaming that our obsessions become less focused on paranoia or pride or gain.  maybe we can get down with a little joy....hell, maybe even a little sexiness, or possibility.

i at least hope that the sun makes a climb in the coming months....in all ways.  let it shine :)

and i also hope pudding pops make their way back onto the market.

peace

g

FREAKY BALLET MOON MARTIANS

i typed into google image search, "lunar ballerina" and this is what came up.  pretty cool, eh? a bit of a blend of both i thought.

it's  a lunar eclipse tonight....and i saw BLACK SWAN finally today.  i think it is only appropriate that there is some weird moon thing going on when i would see that movie.  honestly, as it was going along, i think the hype i had heard almost destroyed it for me.  i thought, yeah, it is provocative and made me cringe here and there, but i didn't find it 'surprising' necessarily...though i did leave the theatre feeling like i had done something wrong....and natalie portman's face was burned in my head.  she's something else.  wowsers.

the only other time i remember a movie making me feel like that was THE TALENTED MISTER RIPLEY.  something about that movie gave me guilt.  like, i left thinking i was going to get in trouble....like i had been a very bad person and i was going to get caught, and nothing was ever going to be the same...like...it was going to be worse from now on.  

it was an icky feeling.  and miss SWAN did that to me today too.  so....BRAVO to darren a and the gang!  lol

now about this eclipse.  i think it is aliens.  i feel like science has decided to 'explain' this for us so we don't all freak out.  i think these blood red changes to big balls of light in the sky, or flashes of green they call 'northern lights' or meteor showers or shooting stars or bizarre weather patterns....

all of it.

aliens.

and according to THE EVENT....they are getting pissed off and want to go home and we better back off.  you hear me?  or jason ritter and his weird ass girlfriend with the perfectly curled hair in each scene (that annoys me, ps) are gonna get EVEN MORE postal and take us down, while they never age a day.

i'm just saying.

happy holidays earthlings.

peace

g

HISTORY

i am so grateful today.  no, i'm not in the military, so, i'm not directly effected by the decision that the senate made today.  i could never do what those courageous civilians do who willingly offer up their lives for service,  but i am gay and i do spend a lot of my living and breathing feeling like the government and the country in which i live does not have my best interests at heart.

well, today....is a different day.

watching CNN and seeing all those suited up politicians talking about and voting on this issue that is ALL ABOUT the interests of gay citizens and our being recognized and set free......well....i am so happy for the service men and women who are able to stand up and be proud and be themselves, and now just get on with life and do what they have always been doing, without asking for any fanfare.   no, they were simply asking for fairness.  or rather...they weren't ALLOWED to ask for it.  

well now they can and now...they have it.  

i am grateful and confident that this is a MAJOR step in the process that will lead to FULL EQUALITY for all citizens regardless of sexual orientation or identity.  

we have so much work to do, and the backlash will be out there.  but ...

justice.  and a glimmer of hope for what is BOUND to come.

proud of my country.  proud of my elected officials.  proud of reason.

peace

g

RECENT FINDINGS

1.  CELEBRATION: dec 13...i made it

2.  DISCOVERY: i'm a hotel snob

3.  CRAVING: vegetable dishes

4.  EXERCISE: sobriety

5.  CONDITION: vocal fatigue

6.  ILL-TIMED URGE: spring fever

7.  BAR: charlie's in cambridge

8.  THEATRE: a.r.t.

9.  MEDIOCRE MOVIE: the tourist

10. GUILTY PLEASURE: katy perry

11. DREAM MAN: still...james franco

12. NEED: imagination

13. VOICE: euan morton

14. ACTIVITY: night walk

15. REUNION: wally and me

16. BIRTHDAY: heather's ....tomorrow

17. ARTIST: mark bradford

18. REGRET: steamed veggies at a fast food joint

19. HOPE: rising to challenges

20. WISH: peace to you

happy holidays.

peace

g

BACK IN BOSTON

i'm back in boston again.  chilling in my cheap ass hotel room.  seriously....

am i a snob now?  i choose to respond, NO, i'm not.  i'm older than i was before, and i have stayed in some pretty kick ass places, so i know what's out there.  and....i like those better!  lol.

don't get me wrong, it's all good, i'll enjoy it and hell...it's only a few days, but i wish EVERYONE could enjoy luxury.  i mean, checking into a hotel in a swank lobby, and taking the elevator up to your sweet room and throwing yourself down on that big soft bed with those amazing pillows and crazy ridiculous sheets....and later falling asleep in a beautiful pretend world where you live like a fancy fool....for a night....  it makes vacationing SO much more fun for me when i know i'm going home at the end of my day to a kooshkoosh place.

ok.  i'm a snob.  big deal.

:)

i can't believe it is christmas time.  seriously, i don't know why, but i just don't feel it this year.  i keep looking outside and seeing lights and trees and stuff, and think, "really!?  now?  isn't it ....NOT now?"  but it is.  i think it will all start to feel better when i get my ass home to my moms and pops.  christmas is family for me i think.  just chilling out with my parents, eating funny foods, playing games, doing....nothing.  i need that.  i feel like i've been running since i hit american soil.  time to STOP and breathe.

gonna try to go see BLACK SWAN tonight.  why do i feel like i am going to have nightmares?  i don't know anything about it, but that trailer is freaking me OUT.  but come on...it's ballet....how bad can it be?

(cut to me wetting the bed tonight)

peace

g

WHY THE F DON'T YOU TEXT, GAVIN!?

okay.  i think i need to clarify a few things here.

no, i don't text message.  i stopped texting on dec 29, 2009, and i haven't looked back.  truthfully.  i don't miss the convenience of it (although while i was in london for HAIR, i texted there...but only because the phone i had, which was from 1973, didn't have email capabilities)  i don't miss the quick banter, or the zip/beep/vibrate/ping of that incoming message.  i don't miss it.

i also want to apologize to those people out there who may have tried texting me in this past year, and to whom i (obviously) didn't respond.  it is annoying, but when you send a text to someone who doesn't text (me) it won't send you a default message back to say, "hey...gavin didn't get this message" or "texting is blocked to this number"  it just basically leaves you thinking i got the text and i'm just the a-hole who didn't want to respond.

i had at&t (who i will not be with for much longer, once iPhone works with verizon....smell ya later at&t....)  take the texting feature off my phone.

now i want to explain why.

no, i'm not like those vegetarians who don't eat meat because of the horrifying acts committed to animals.  (while i respect their conviction....steak....i can't quit you...why can't i quit you?) but i'm like one of those vegetarians who just decided....i've had enough.  i'm gonna stop eating that stuff.  it doesn't make me feel good, when i am finished with it i don't feel like myself, and really....i just don't need it, now do i?

the main two reasons for me quitting texting though....were this:

a) i got sick of people getting MAD at me for not texting right back, or for getting their text, registering the information that i received, and then in my pea brain, thinking i had told them that i got the information.  either way, having a friend get pissed at you for not doing this immediate response thing, started to tick ME off.

and

b) THERE ARE TOO MANY WAYS TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME....and NOT ENOUGH GOOD REASONS WHY!  i could be emailed to my personal email, to my business email, to my facebook email, you could post something on my wall, you could tweet me, you could RT me, or @ me or whatever that is, you could call my cel, you could leave a message on my voicemail, you could call my skype, or leave a message there or ....or....what else is there?   TOO MANY.

and inevitably, i forget things, like, when you call me and i'm talking to someone else.  in my effort to be polite (which switching over to another call really isn't, is it?  my mom always hated that....she's used to it now....sad) but to be polite i would just pop over and say, "hey allyson (sister) i'll call you back in a second.  just talking to (so and so)"  and then, i forget to call her for like 2 days.

that's my brain.  i try, but i forget.  so...when i was confronted at the time with feeling torn between so many forms of 'communication' (and i put that in quotations because are we REALLY in all these ways, truly communicating?)  ----okay, i can hear you groaning now and thinking "ugh he's all holier than thou and all self righteousy....ew".....i've probably lost you already because this isn't really that interesting...

but screw it.  anyway....

i just thought....i'm gonna lose one of these.  and TEXTING costs money.  so, i decided, i'm gonna get rid of it and bear the brunt of people being pissed about it for a bit, and then never have to worry about being torn away from a dinner or a walk or sex, or really anything so that i can just see 100 or so characters of information telling me something that i probably really didn't need to know RIGHT THEN anyway.

there used to be no call waiting and no answering machines and hell....i remember pulse tone dialing.  it used to drive me crazy that my parents wouldn't get a touch tone phone.  now...i dream of those days.

geeze, i'm turning into my grampa.  oi.

but just to clear it up,

GAVIN CREEL DON'T DO NO TEXTIN'

and i had to walk uphill in the snow BOTH WAYS to get to school.....grrrrrrrrr

(fart....recline....golf....nap)

peace

g